MLB has suspended Yunel Escobar for three games. It's punishment for, perhaps, this season's chief act of stupidity. What could have possessed Escobar to write "Tu Ere Maricon" on his eye black this past weekend? Translated into English, "Maricon" is a gay slur. Escobar must have thought the world was full of nothing but dimwits and blind people. Otherwise, how could he suspect something like this would go unnoticed? His explanation at a Tuesday press conference was as dense as stale pound cake. 

"It was not something I intended to be offensive," he said through a translator. "It was something I just put on the sticker on my face as a joke. There was nothing intentional directed at anyone in particular. I don't have anything against homosexuals. I have friends who are gay."

One question, fam: Are you serious?

This smacks of Escobar getting caught-up in a dare and not being mature enough to know that manning-up is dumbing-down when it involves you getting suspended.