Since his retirement, Karl Malone has become a relative recluse by NBA superstar standards. Occasionally he'll make a few television or radio appearances, but it doesn't occur often. It probably should.  Kobe and Vanessa Bryant probably disagree, but Malone's self-deprecating brand of humor works well on the radiowaves. If you didn't realize how entertaining Malone is, take a listen to this interview on The Dan Patrick Show from the man who once defended himself by claiming he "ain't gonna be no escape-goat!" If you didn't know any better you'd assume it was Charles Barkley or Jay Pharaoh doing a Karl Malone impersonation.

Somewhere in an alternate universe, Malone is the hilarious personality with a deep Southern twang sitting alongside Ernie, Kenny and Shaq (oh wait, that sort of happened once). Not only did Malone leave Michael Jordan off his all-time starting lineup, but he also discussed his mother forcing him to kiss his brother on the mouth after a backyard fight. The Mailman's a lover not a fighter.