I got to keep it real and say that if the fathers, cousins and uncles of the men who I killed while on a mission to save my daughter came together and kidnapped my ex-wife—who cries her eyes out for the man she married after me—I’d have to take the loss on that one, buddy. But Liam Neeson is a “better” man than I, so, in Taken 2, he feels compelled to save his wife, if for no other reason than to give their once “magical” love one more chance.

It’s been some time since the events of Taken; and what seemed like a happy ending for everyone actually turned out to be the beginning of the family’s descent into depression. Stepdaddy left, mommy’s brokenhearted and crying all the time, and shorty who was on the brink of being a sheik’s sex toy (and is having trouble learning how to parallel park of all things, yet becomes Danica Patrick during an intense car chase) can’t seem to feel “normal” again. Bryan Mills’ (Neeson) solution to everyone’s problem? Family vacation in Istanbul!!!!! But when Albanian gangsters interrupt the Mills’ family vacation to avenge their fallen brethren killed in Taken, Bryan Mills does what he does best: track and kill anyone who was involved in doing him wrong. And man did he track and kill. After he and his ex-wife, Lenore (Famke Janssen) are kidnapped and head-bagged, Mills uses the sounds of the environment, turns the car makes and a watch to calculate where they’re being taken in order to get back, if need be (hint, it needs be).
 

With the help of his “visibly less attractive than in part one” daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace), Bryan was able to break free from his captors but his wife wasn’t so lucky. So now it’s on him to get her back, even if it means losing his life in the process.Again, I’d take the L on that one. Seriously, I’d be on some “We’ll always have Coney Island, honey!” type ish. I mean, Famke Janssen is pretty hot, but, in the Taken world, Bryan Mills already had her for a few years and had a baby too. Is he really on that H-Town ish and wants that whole thing back? I know I wouldn’t, especially if Albanian gangsters are standing in the way; but Bryan Mills fears no man, gang, wolf, robot, alien, Jedi, titan – seriously, what hasn’t this man fought? You’d think with that kind of resume, beating the hell out of some Albanian thugs would be a walk in the park, but, for some reason, those And 1 jumpsuits gives the thugs superhuman strength – because out of shape cats was giving Mills more than a fair one.

At the end of the day, the best way I can put it is like this: if you loved Taken then you’ll like Taken 2. Though the sequel wasn’t as innovative, creative or even that much different than the first, it’s a good film in it’s own right. The story was simple enough to follow, didn’t drag at all and the action – as expected – was there. One of my few beefs with the film came with the fight scenes. Even though they did get their shares of “ooohhs” and “ahhhhs”’ from the crowd, it was mostly due to the sounds of thumps and blows landing, because the visuals themselves were a blur. The Hulk Hogan sex tape was HD by comparison.

Aside from those little hiccups, though, Neeson used Taken 2 to continue to prove that he is this generation’s version of Charles Bronson. Liam’s reminding us that we should have a profound respect for our elders, because, aside from the fact that we don’t know the struggle they’ve gone through in life, they could also be more than capable of beating our asses.