Good Morning: Some Of These NFL Teams Oughta Give Up on 2013

The Green Bay Packers piled on Minnesota's ever-crumbling season with a 44-31 victory. The Packers were so effective offensively, particularly RB Eddie Lacy, that Minnesota only managed to hold on to the ball for 19 minutes and six seconds — less than 1/3rd of the game.

 

Johnny Gomes found out Shane Victorino couldn't play in Game 4 of the World Series during batting practice, and ended up in the lineup against a right-hander despite barely facing any all season. No matter. Gomes mashed a three-run homer to put Boston up 4-1, en route to a series tying 4-2 victory. The tight series may lead to huge ratings for MLB, as Game 3 was the highest-rated since 2009.

 

The Dallas Cowboys had a 99 percent chance of winning the game with two minutes left and still managed to blow it against Megatron and the Detroit Lions.

 

The Kansas City Chiefs maintained their undefeated record, beating the Cleveland Browns 23-17, despite six sacks against QB Alex Smith, who took the hits like a champ.

 

RG3 was beat up by Von Miller and the Denver Broncos, and left the game in the fourth quarter. It didn't look good. Denver went on to win 45-21.

 

Andy Dalton threw five touchdown passes, including four to Marvin Jones, as the Bengals unleashed a can on the New York Jets, 49-9.

 

Oakland Raiders defensive coordinator Jason Tarver flipped off the ref twice after a bad call. Oakland still beat the Steelers 21-18.

 

Dolphins center Mike Pouncey was served with a grand jury subpoena in the Aaron Hernandez trial.

 

The NFL isn't likely to expand, but could either move a team to London or simply play eight games per year there.

 

Michael Vick injured his hamstring again, saying he felt it pop. Ready for the Matt Barkley era?

 

Joakim Noah says he's 100 percent ready to play Chicago's opener against the Miami Heat.

 

Michel Platini says he wants to expand the World Cup from 32 to 40 teams.

 

 

FLASHING LIGHTS

 

Future proposed to Ciara on her birthday.

 

Bad Grandpa dethroned Gravity in the box office.

 

Chris Brown was arrested for felony assault.

 

Al Roker hit up a Drake concert and felt out of place.

 

Janelle Monae did her thing on SNL.

 

 

DID YOU REALIZE?

 

Democratic candidate for NYC, Mayor Bill de Blasio, is set to win the race by a massive margin. Polls show the latest lead is 45 points, the largest ever margin of victory for a non-incumbent.

 

Dr. Conrad Murray — Michael Jackson's doctor — was released from jail after two years.

 

Grand Theft Auto V was named the game of the year.

 

NSA allegations are sweeping Europe. Just a week after French newspapers reported widespread phone tapping, and German media described the tapping of Angela Merkel's phone, Spainsh reports say the NSA monitored over 60 million calls in one month this year. The White House reportedly ordered the NSA to stop wiretapping world leaders. The NSA also claim President Obama did not know the extent of what they were doing, which, I think, is somehow supposed to be reassuring. It isn't. Obama then said that other countries are doing the same thing, but the US will scale back their operation.

 

 

GOTTA HAVE IT

 

This remix with Common is perfect for a Monday morning.

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