C’Mon Son!!!: Vontaze Burfict

“C’Mon Son!!!” is a semi-regular column on The Shadow League where we lovingly tap some fool on the shoulder in order to help them through some personal growth. Today’s moron is Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict, whose vicious, head-hunting hit on the Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown in the fourth quarter of the AFC wild-card cost Cincinnati the game.

Last night, the NFL announced that Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict has been suspended for the first three games of the 2016 season for repeated violations of player-safety rules, with “the straw that broke the camel’s back” being the unnecessary roughness penalty with 22 seconds remaining in Saturday’s AFC wild-card game. 

Burfict viciously hit Pittsburgh’s Antonio Brown in the head with his shoulder, drawing the flag as Brown was deemed defenseless. Brown currently is under the NFL’s concussion protocol because of the hit.

Burfict was fined four times for safety-related violations during 2015. Merton Hanks, the NFL’s vice president of football operations said that his hit on Brown “…placed his opponent at unnecessary risk of injury and should have been avoided.”

The Bengals linebacker says that he will appeal the suspension. If it is upheld, Burfict will forfeit $502,941 of his 2016 base salary. 

Even Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis agreed with the referees calling that critical penalty against Burfict, by saying at a press conference yesterday, “He can’t have that kind of blow with the guy that’s receiving the pass.”

Ayo Vontaze, C’mon Son!!!

You basically cost your coach, your teammates, the entire franchise and the city of Cincinnati the playoff win with your foolishness. And even worse than that, you could have killed Antonio Brown. 

And then there was the whole running off the field and into the bowels of the stadium towards the locker room like Forrest Gump after your outstanding interception against Landry Jones on Pittsburgh’s 26 yard line with 1:38 left in the fourth quarter.

It looked like the critical turnover that would seal an improbable 15-point comeback victory and give Marvin Lewis his first playoff head coaching win.

The only problem with that was the fact that a full 1:38 seconds was still left on the clock!

What is ya, ignorant!!!???

Unless you had a bad case of the mud-butt and needed to get to the bathroom immediately, there was absolutely no reason for those shenanigans. I understand being excited, but I also understand math.

The game wasn’t over bruh!

For 59 minutes and 38 seconds, you played an outstanding game. Until your brain flatulence and macho inner caveman left Antonio Brown laying motionless on the ground.

When the yellow flag hit the turf, the line of scrimmage was the Bengals’ 47-yard line. Pittsburgh had no timeouts.  Your nonsense gave them the ball at your 32.

Ya’ll had the game, my man. But you went ahead and gave it up like Little Bill’s wife in Boogie Nights.

You basically did your franchise like Ginger did Ace Rothstein in Casino. I’m sure Marvin Lewis asked himself at various points over your career if the team could trust you with everything on the line.

Well, what you did was like Ginger tricking loot on Lester Diamond and tying up the kid to run around with Nicky Santoro. 

You had it all in the palm of your hands, and then proceeded to take everybody down right alongside you.

C’mon Son!!!

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